Are you ok? Maybe, but life's hard, isn't it. And right now you're just barely holding it together. There's just no dressing it up with spiritual glamour. This assignment, being human, it's tough. And pretending that its easy when we all know it's not, doesn't help anyone.
AND we often compare.
We look at others and think "how come they're ok? Why are they so happy?" "How have they managed to work it all out, be in a great relationship, job, life?
"What are they doing that I'm not?"
Well, that's how it looks, but maybe they're more like you than you know. Maybe they're also doing what you're doing; pretending.
A lot of people are pretending that they've got it all worked out.
That their life is perfect and shiny and wonderful.
What you see on social media, face-book and Instagram feeds for example, and even often what you see in front of your own eyes, it's not real. It's a distant reflection of what a person's life really looks like.
But what about what you don't see.
I learned early on the difference. Growing up I lived in a beautiful big house. I had my own pony, my parents drove nice cars, my mother ran her own successful business.
It looked good from the outside.
You'd never have guessed the utter carnage that was going on behind closed doors. A loveless, dead, abusive marriage. History of sexual and physical abuse, affairs, breakdowns, total and utter disconnect. Pain, anger and deep hatred, all bundled together and called a family.
People typically don't wear their shit on their sleeve.
Not at surface level anyway. Sure, dig a little deeper, get a little closer. I learned to see straight through that from an early age; I know what people hide. And in my line of work everyday I meet people holding it together on the outside and dealing with the most painful and destructive situations on the inside.
And it's not just the material things.
It's in relationships too. I recently came across someone (not a client) who told me that he'd been married for 14 years and had never had sex with his wife. Not once. His marriage was a complete sham; but not on the outside.
No, by all accounts it presented quite perfect. In fact when he eventually pulled the pin no one could believe he was leaving. "What on earth can be that bad it can't be fixed" they asked, "Everything seems so good, you're a great couple."
Well that's how it looked anyway.
But that ain't how it was. Of course nothing's in isolation. One issue is always part of a bigger picture, and ultimately that picture is disconnect. Not just from each other but from ourselves.
We're so lonely and we're so fake. Yes, I said it.
We're stuck behind the masks we've been forced to wear by a shallow society drowning in fakery. We're so hungry for love and to be loved but we don't even know the truth of universal love, and we haven't yet found it in our ourselves.
And we're all running around pretending we're ok, when we don't even know what ok is any more. OK has become pretending.
Ok is getting by on scraps of happiness which we can't even truly enjoy because we're so fucking scared it will be ripped away, again and again. Just like it always is.
Happiness is short lived because something sinister lives in us, and it is sinister because it loves the negativity that we hate. And we're trapped in this war with ourselves, with our out of control minds and emotions and the fear that lives in our bodies.
Most of us are stuck just trying to keep our heads above water.
Life being wonderful isn't how it looks on the outside. Although when you get it right inside the outside will reflect it back. Life is all about what's going on in the inside.
We have to turn our attention inwards and start the healing process. We have to find the parts of us that need the negativity and feed off the emotional angst we're riddled with. And we have to fix them so we can drop the mask and stop fucking pretending.
It's exhausting; you know, I know it, we all know it.
And we hate it. We hate the pretence and the fakery. We want happy for real. But first we need to learn to start letting our truest, most powerful selves awaken and shine through, because its this part of us that has all the answers.
It's this part that can and will save us.
This is the part that will lead us to happiness and to truly knowing what OK is. This is the part that isn't afraid to feel joy and love and excitement without the pang of "when will the other shoe drop.'
F*ck the other shoe, kick them both off, go bare foot, just stop being so scared.
Scared of being happy, scared of being sad, sacred of being loved, scared of not being loved. Scared of not being enough, scared of being too much.
Sacred of failing, having no money, being alone.
I got tired of it in me, and I know you're tired of it in you.
We all want it gone.
We want to live in a world where we can love easily and support and care for ourselves and each other and be happy; truly happy. Without the fear of having it snatched away in a blind second.
And I know that world exists because it's potential exists inside of everyone of us.
We just have to remove everything that's in it's way.
I'm feeling a real urgency in my work now; like it just can't wait. We need to end this inner war we're all participating in, because we're all projecting it outwards. And it's manifesting.
I hope when you hear this message something in you clicks and you'll know in your heart what I'm saying is true.
And I hope that you'll do your part in doing what it takes and ending the fakeness and negativity in you that stops you from truly living. Stops you from lighting up and shining the light of love and awareness for others struggling in the dark.
If you need help, I'm here. If you want to work with me I'd love to guide you through the process. Otherwise just stick with me, keep following me, keep reading, keep listening, but do your part. Because we're all needed to help create the world we deserve to live in.
Whatever you do please know, I believe in you and in a better world, where we're so much more than ok.
Dawn Lee is a Personal and Spiritual Intelligence Coach™ with a passion for melding psychology, coaching and spirituality. Her expertise is helping others clear the past and end the self sabotage, chaos and confusion that impacts their lives and ruins relationships. Her mission is to lead others back to truth, happiness and the deep love and connection that comes from living from their soul. Want to discover more about working with Dawn?