Sounds so romantic doesn't it ...
Two entwined souls, one core. A single rhythmic beat of two once lost hearts, home, safe in the warmth of each others loving arms.
Two realities merging, a reunion of lifetimes, a completion.
Insert <ripping needle off record noise> here.
Sorry, that's not the reality of a Twin Flame.
That's the fantasy.
And it's a painful one at that.
Twin flame's are not our other half, as we imagine them to be. They're not our soul mate, they're not the peaches to our cream, the peas to our carrots.
They are not the yin to our yang.
Twin flames are something very different. They have a distinct purpose and place in our human and spiritual evolution, but they're not our other half.
A twin flame's purpose in itself is deeply challenging, but when we're blind to the nature of the twin flame relationship, it rapidly becomes a living torture.
Let me explain
Twin flames are our mirror, magnified.
They are us, and they are the worst of us because they are the unconscious parts of us that are buried way deep down in our subconscious.
Parts in pain that need a mammoth rattling to bring them to the surface to heal.
If you meet your twin flame you'd better be ready to meet your unconscious self. Because basically you'll be dating your own ego.
And trust me that's not for the faint hearted.
One of our biggest blocks to harmonious relationships is we've forgotten who we are and what our purpose here is.
We're spiritual beings in physical form, and we have an agenda. And that's to use our physical bodies to feel, heal and let go of past trauma, and balance negative energies into higher vibrations, that set the soul free.
So we can know ourselves as we truly are.
We're here to expand consciousness, and work through karma and our relationships are the arena in which we do both. We need another person close enough to mirror dense energies back to us, so we can see them, and heal them through transformation.
Depending on our level of consciousness twin flames can offer us the divinely guided experience of working through our biggest fears and healing our energies, together.
Or they can rip us apart.
And we go on recreating the same past, meeting the same pain. Same reflection, same us.
We're drawn to our twin flame like a magnet. When we first meet the intensity can be like no other. We get so caught up in the passion and feelings of 'rightness' that we convince ourselves "this is the half that completes me."
The one who understands me, who sees me, who knows my soul.
But it's not long before the reflections surface and we're slapped in the face with our own unhealed wounds and unresolved fears.
And if we're not prepared, we can get cut to the core.
If we're not both spiritually and mentally ready to deal with our past, we resist the reflections, and what we resist, persists.
Imagine that in this lifetime you have karma and energies to balance around rejection, control and self love, for example. These feelings and energies have followed you through your life. First a rejection in childhood which continued to manifest in your adult relationships.
You hide it well, but being rejected is one of your deepest fears. You try then to control life, to control love, to control others, hoping your control will protect you from being hurt, but it doesn't.
In fact the harder you try to control, the more powerless you feel.
And this trips your biggest fear, the place you try to avoid most, loneliness. Because loneliness means that you're not worthy of love, and you can't bear that.
Your twin flame connects with these parts of you, and you feel like they totally get you from the inside out. But because they are you, they too have the same deep fears, and these same energies.
What you need to be aware of here is that the wounded masculine and feminine can manifest very differently.
You may not consider your partner for example to fear rejection, particularly if they're the one rejecting you. However the real rejection is the rejection of self. And many men have a very deep rooted primal fear that they're not masculine, and not worthy, and they'll fail. So they engage in behaviors that alleviate this fear, and validate their worth, such as infidelity.
You don't recognize the unconscious roots of their behaviour, you just see it at the surface, and you can't see how it resonates with you. But its the same wound. It's just manifesting differently.
Your twin flame then is not the antidote, they're more poison.
Two wounded hearts don't create healing. Only we can heal our own hearts, and when we meet our own pain, it doubles.
Now two lots of the same wound.
Each blaming the other.
Twin flame relationships are notoriously hard to manage but in the right hands they offer the deepest growth and learning experience that the soul craves. When navigated correctly, they can offer awakening by forcing us to make the unconscious conscious, and lead us back to the truth of who we are.
But only if we're conscious enough to travel the journey.
If you meet your twin flame know that this relationship is going to be challenging. Also know that if you both approach it from a higher level of consciousness, with open eyes, hearts and minds, and if you're willing to own your reflections, and lovingly allow the other to own theirs, then together this relationship can burn through the fear and reignite your souls into freedom.
This is a relationship that may not last. Because each person may simply not be ready to do the work it takes to bring light to their own shadow and heal.
Or once healed the flame may simply die.
But if you have the courage, the spiritual knowledge and the willingness and commitment to lean into love, then this could be a very rewarding experience in terms of your personal and spiritual evolution, whether its lasting or not.
Dawn Lee is a transformational coach, spiritual mentor, writer and catalyst for conscious connection and soul evolution. Her passion is helping others shut the door on the past, master their mind to realign with the intentions of their soul, and be their happiest, truest self. Discover how to work with Dawn.