If you've been waiting a while, you've done some inner work and you're not meeting anyone, or you keep meeting more of the same kind of people you've sworn yourself off of, it can be easy to fall head first into the abyss of THAT story. After all, you've told it before:
"There's nobody out there for me. I'll never meet anyone, I'm too old, I'm not enough, I'll always be alone."
It's a powerful story, it carries a lot of weight this one. After all, love and connection are your number one need. And being alone forever is your biggest fear. But just ask yourself this:
"How do I feel when I tell it?
Go ahead, tell it right now and just feel what happens in your body as you hold this story inside you. And you are holding it. Gets heavier too doesn't it, every time you tell it. And of course no-one's showing up, so there's that!
So when you tell it, what do you feel; sad, hopeless depressed, lonely, empty, unloved, lost? Now ask yourself this:
- How does 'that story' help you align with love?
- And how does it prevent you?
No ifs or buts, and don't just nod your head, actually get a clear answer.
- It helps me align with love by....
- It prevents me from aligning by ….
It's pretty clear. It doesn't help alignment, it prevents it. You can give all the reasons in the world to justify telling that story, but the law that brings it into affect doesn't care shit for your reasoning.
- What you focus on expands.
- What you focus on you create.
- Emotion is the language that the Universe responds to.
- What you consistently think about and create emotion around comes you bring into your experience.
You can if and but, jump up and down, say it isn't fair till the cows coming trotting home, it makes no difference.
That story is working against you, it's preventing love. Plain and simple.
Here's the thing, the person you're looking for, the one you're afraid isn't out there, is. BUT he doesn't align with you sad, hopeless, depressed and empty. Sure you've already dated the guy who does, a few times now, and those relationships sucked.... remember...?
So it's been a while, yes darling, I know. And what of it? Telling that story, sister, no wonder. How long it takes depends on how long it takes for you to align. And how long it takes for you to align is on you.
And that story ain't helping.
NO-ONE can magically align you, BUT YOU. They can help, a lot, but only you can do the inner work to make the change happen.
The only thing that's true about that story is that it's standing in the way of love. Something's behind it and that keeps coming back to it, and keeps you reinforcing it.
And love can't quite find you. And if it does it can't settle into your vibration because you keep giving up and pushing it away.
Maybe it'll take another year, and how are you going to spend that year, sad, depressed, empty?
Choose again, this time from love.
Choose to spend however long it takes being the person that aligns with love. What could you have to lose by aligning with love, regardless of whether you're single or no? Love isn't just for romantic relationships. In fact it's likely that what's keeping that dam story afloat is that you don't love yourself.
And maybe that's what you're really afraid of?
How can someone do the impossible and love you, when you don't love yourself?
What might happen if you stumble across someone you fall madly, deeply in love with, someone not like the others where you felt safe in their dysfunction. What if someone healed and strong and who's the real deal, sees what you're hiding inside?
- Maybe it's the shame that lingers in you?
- Maybe the guilt?
- Maybe the unworthiness?
- Maybe the feeling of failure?
Whatever the problem, it's coming from a belief you made as a child. Maybe you believed nobody loves me? Maybe you believed I'm a bad person. Maybe you believed I always comes last ,or I always get left out.
And because you believe it it's sure to be your reality.
And that's why you tell that story. It protects you from getting what you want because the fear in your tells you that its not safe. That and your lack of discipline and commitment. because if you want love that story has to be put to bed, tucked up tight and sent off to dissolve into the light.
That story has to end.
And that's where your work lies. Because telling it over and over is just helping make it come true. If our thoughts and feelings create our reality, would you really want what this story has you thinking and feeling to come true for you?
Isn't that in fact exactly what you don't want?
Somewhere out there, someone amazing is literally twiddling his thumbs, as his hands and his heart wait for yours. He's worth the work, he's worth the time, he's worth the wait.
….He's worth dropping that fucking story. Decided that it's time, and if you need help reach out. Time's ticking.
Dawn Lee is an emotional & spiritual evolution coach™, writer and teacher with a passion for melding psychology, coaching and spirituality with her own unique intuitive wisdom and lived experience. Dawn's expertise is helping you out of crisis and into clarity to reclaim happiness, peace, love and connection from the inside out. Her mission, to shine alight of awareness in the world and raise consciousness. Find out more about working with Dawn here.